Damnit
I just had this whole post typed out and my browser crashed. Lost the whole damn thing.
In retrospect, I hate who I've sometimes been and what I've sometimes done.
It usually happens about five seconds after I've done something I realize I should have handled differently.
Like about ten minutes ago. I know I've said it a million times, but I wish I was a different person sometimes. Or I wish I didn't care about some things or some people like I do. It's not fair, they don't feel the same way about me. Perhaps it's to strong a word, but am I suffering? It's just that I feel like I'm not in control of my own feelings. And even when I hate the way someone acts or behaves or lives their life now, I can't turn my back to them.
Sorry, I'm tired and ranting and I've worked about 20 of the past 36 hours, so you have to take it all with a grain of salt. I'm just frustrated.
In retrospect, I hate who I've sometimes been and what I've sometimes done.
It usually happens about five seconds after I've done something I realize I should have handled differently.
Like about ten minutes ago. I know I've said it a million times, but I wish I was a different person sometimes. Or I wish I didn't care about some things or some people like I do. It's not fair, they don't feel the same way about me. Perhaps it's to strong a word, but am I suffering? It's just that I feel like I'm not in control of my own feelings. And even when I hate the way someone acts or behaves or lives their life now, I can't turn my back to them.
Sorry, I'm tired and ranting and I've worked about 20 of the past 36 hours, so you have to take it all with a grain of salt. I'm just frustrated.
posted by Tilly at 8:19 PM
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