Updation

I'm dreadfully sorry about this inexcusable delay between posts. I developed a sort of complex about the whole writing phenomena, and it completely trounced any efforts I made to try and write again. I told my father that as soon as someone is told they're wonderful at doing something, they immedietly cease to see the point in doing it anymore. I was being complimented left and right for the words I'd written in this diary, and I hate compliments. Well...not really, I just don't take them very well in front of other people, especially when I don't have something to compliment them back on right away. Some part of me hates to be better than someone else when there is no competition involved. It comes out more when I'm being told how well I've acted or sung or written. I don't know what to say about it. As for the comments about how well this is written...it's just the way I write. After my senior speech I heard someone say that hearing it was like being in a conversation that you didn't have to speak during. Perhaps he meant that I was writing both sides of it, I honestly don't know, but for some reason that seems like the most apt way to describe my writing style. I just really liked the way it sounded.

I've come to think that I am a particularly difficult person. Exceptionally difficult, in fact. I'm not sure that this is the first characteristic that comes to people's minds, but I'm almost positive of it. I think a lot of the time it comes off as frustrating for those around me and I appologize if that has been the case. I know for certain of a few who have seen this to be true, even if not all the time. If you were to ask my mother, my father, either of my siblings, my ex girlfriend, and a few of my closer friends, they would undoubtably agree.

Or maybe I'm just lazy...quite possible, and there's definately evidence to back it up. But I really feel as though i drive people crazy sometimes. Especially my teachers...oy. Apparently I don't live up to my potential, or something or another. They get particularly frustrated when I fail to keep up an enthusiasm for the homework they assign but manage to do so well during class. It's not my intention to do so well in class but completely disregard or simply forget the homework, it really isn't.

I just don't care.

Being in class is completely different. There I'm without a doubt at the top of my game. This doesn't really help the situation, however, because contrary to what you might think, when I do so well in class and then fail to keep my homework at that level, my teachers get frustrated with me. Really frustrated, or so it seems.

Enough about that, for now. I've just finished the Players poster for "High Society." I can't even begin to describe how wonderful it felt to watch Photoshop start up again. I lavished in the incredibly powerful capabilities of that software and it was pure bliss. I truly take after my mother in this regard, I am a digital art junkie. Speaking of Players, I've only got about a week to finish my letter to the cast and crew if I want it to be read on opening night. I'm really trying not to be cliché with mine - I really want people to smile and think when they hear what I have to say. I won't lie, it's ridiculously hard to write. But hopefully it will mean that much more when it's read.

This is a minor update. I promise to update more tomorrow, probably some horrendously long post that you won't finish reading until the end of the year. Think of this as the preview...

I miss you.