I think, therefore I am

I was sitting in English. It was pretty normal I guess, everyone was present and Mr. Stevens was enjoying not having to deal with any of the sophomores, freshmen, or juniors as his last class of the day. We may have just finished Memento, but I'm honestly not sure. Mr. Stevens said that we were leaving for college soon, and that we'd better realize it. It was going to mark a huge change for us. He said that all of us fell into three catagories; some couldn't wait to get as far away from Philadelphia as possible, some didn't know how they felt, and probably very few of us were content with the way their life was at the present time. He said it was supposed to be like this, we were supposed to feel that way, because we were teenagers and it was the time in a person's life when they are supposed to be going out on their own.

If anyone has had Philip Stevens as their teacher (I've been lucky enough to have had him twice), you will undoubtably feel as though he is one of the smartest men you have ever met. And not snobby smart, not by any means. I'm talking about pure, intellectually driven genius. He is a master of logic, and he should be teaching AP English at any Ivy League school. He's so much more brilliant than any of my Professors here, and for those of you still at CHA, treasure your time with him. You will miss it.

And what Mr. Stevens said about how we felt was right on the money.

Unfortunately, I was one of the very few that was actually content with my life. Since coming to Pratt, I've been living without the two aspects of my life that got me through highschool, namely acting (through Players), and singing (Hilltones/Chamber Singers). Who am I kidding? I'm a performer. I'm an artist, no doubt, but I'm an artist of multiple mediums. And I'm realizing more and more how much of a thesbian I truly was and want to be. I'm an actor, a man of the stage, and living without it only serves for me to realize how much it actually meant.

And singing! And music...I don't want to live without these things in my life. They are essential, you know? They are critical. It was a therapy for me. It didn't matter if I was good or not, it wasn't about that. It was about enjoying what I was a part of, it was about the process of learning a piece of music or creating a character to play a role. And it changed, too. You move from one piece of music to the next, you assume the role of a different character.

I could still go on stage right now and sing my part for any of the songs I learned in Hilltones and Chamber Singers. I could still play the role of any character I've played in Players at this moment. These things are what completed my life...and I was happy. I think I could have continued to sing with Hilltones and acted with Players for a few more years without having the slightest doubt about it. Maybe it's because I still felt I had so much to learn. From my friends, my directors, and myself.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a character. But you also know that I am not only one either.

In other news, I have midterms this week. I have to meet with most of my teachers individually and review every single piece of work we've done so far this semester as to assess my progress. Woo. Let's hope I can find all of it.

And I miss everyone. I'm doing well, but that doesn't mean I don't think about all of you every single day that I'm here. =)