Meaning...what, exactly?

I want this journal to mean something. I want to write in my life, at least to a certain extent. I love to write, to put things into words and find meaning for my thoughts. It's about expressing myself. I've always been encouraged to do this, and writing has been a channel specifically endorsing self expression.

That being said, I cannot adequetly describe my own feelings about where I am in life right now. I'm not sad...I'm not depressed. I just feel like there's something missing.

How cliché, you might say. I wouldn't blame you for a second, that's exactly what I felt as I wrote the words.

But honestly, wanting to hold someone, wanting to love someone, just wanting to have that physical and emotional connection with someone else is such an important part of life. Isn't it one of those defining characteristics that makes us human? Emotion...and expression of that emotion...

Here's where my problems begin. I've had a philosophy since I can remember that it was never an issue who I loved or wanted to be with. I maintain that I could love anyone...that I could grow to want anyone. The one setback? Someone has to like me.

Looking around at my friends, I can geniunely say that I never understood why those that were single and complained about it couldn't find someone. It astounded me. Half the time (Well...more than half the time...) I told them this. Also, I felt as though I was clearly revealing the fact that I liked them or that I would be a good person for them to have a relationship with. Needless to say, this never sparked a single relationship.

However, I'm optimistic; helplessly so, some might argue. I never feel as though I'm restrained to "liking" one person at a time. I still look at myself as being able to be with anyone. This doesn't mean I don't have a certain girl or two in mind that I really enjoy and like. It just means I'm open. I want to be thought of as an open person.

Jesus...now I'm getting into defining myself...this could get ugly.